Ich habe hier etwas aus einem anderen BBM Forum, was ich total ergreifend finde.
Vor zwei Jahren wurde ja in Wyoming ein junger Mann von Schwulenhassern zu Tode geprügelt.
Dies ist die Rede seines Vaters bei der Urteilsverkündung der Mörder: (allerdings erstmal nur englisch) Your honor, members of the Jury, Mr. Rerucha:
I would like to begin my statement by addressing the
jury. Ladies and gentlemen, a terrible crime was
committed in Laramie thirteen months ago. Because of
that crime, the reputation of the city of Laramie, the
University of Wyoming, and the State of Wyoming became
synonymous with gay bashing, hate crimes, and
brutality. While some of this reputation may be
deserved, it was blown out of proportion by our
friends in the media. Yesterday you, the jury, showed
the world that Wyoming and the city of Laramie will
not tolerate hate crimes. Yes, this was a hate crime,
pure and simple, with the added ingredient of robbery.
My son Matthew paid a terrible price to open the eyes
of all of us who live in Wyoming, the United States,
and the world to the unjust and unnecessary fears,
discrimination, and intolerance that members of the
gay community face every day. Yesterday's decision by
you showed true courage and made a statement. That
statement is that Wyoming is the Equality State; that
Wyoming will not tolerate discrimination based on
sexual orientation; that violence is not the solution.
Ladies and gentlemen, you have the respect and
admiration of Matthew's family and friends and of
countless strangers around the world. Be proud of what
you have accomplished. You may have prevented another
family from losing a son or daughter.
Your honor, I would also like to thank you for the
dignity and grace with which this trial was conducted.
Repeated attempts to distract the court from the true
purpose of this trial failed because of your
attentiveness, knowledge, and willingness to take a
stand and make new law in the area of sexual
orientation and the "Gay Panic" defense. By doing so
you have emphasized that Matthew was a human being
with all the rights and responsibilities and
protections of any citizen of Wyoming.
Mr. Rerucha took the oath of office as prosecuting
attorney to protect the rights of the citizens of
Albany County as mandated by the laws of the state of
Wyoming, regardless of his personal feelings and
beliefs. At no time did Mr. Rerucha make any decision
on the outcome of this case without the permission of
Judy and me. It was our decision to take this case to
trial, just as it was our decision to accept the plea
bargain today and the earlier plea bargain of Mr.
Henderson. A trial was necessary to show that this was
a hate crime and not just a robbery gone bad. If we
had sought a plea bargain earlier, the facts of this
case would not have been known and the question would
always be present that we had something to hide. In
addition, this trial was necessary to help provide
some closure to the citizens of Laramie, Albany
County, and the state. I find it intolerable that the
priests of the Catholic Church and the Newman Center
would attempt to influence the jury, the prosecution,
and the outcome of this trial by their castigation and
persecution of Mr. Rerucha and his family in his
private life, by their newspaper advertisements, and
by their presence in the courtroom. I find it
difficult to believe that they speak for all
Catholics. If the leaders of churches want to comment
as private citizens, that is one thing. If they say
that they represent the beliefs of their church, that
is another. This country was founded on separation of
church and state. The Catholic Church has stepped over
the line and has become a political group with its own
agenda. If that be the case, treat them as a political
group and eliminate their privileges as a religious
organization.
My son Matthew did not look like a winner. After all,
he was small for his age—weighing, at the most, 110
pounds, and standing only 5'2" tall. He was rather
uncoordinated and wore braces from the age of 13 until
the day he died. However, in his all too brief life,
he proved that he was a winner. My son—a gentle,
caring soul—proved that he was as tough as, if not
tougher than, anyone I have ever heard of or known. On
October 6, 1998, my son tried to show the world that
he could win again. On October 12, 1998, my first-born
son—and my hero—lost. On October 12, my first-born
son—and my hero— died 50 days before his 22nd
birthday. He died quietly, surrounded by family and
friends, with his mother and brother holding his hand.
All that I have left
now are the memories.
It's hard to put into words how much Matt meant to
family and friends and how much they meant to him.
Everyone wanted him to succeed because he tried so
hard. The spark that he provided to people had to be
experienced. He simply made everyone feel better about
themselves. Family and friends were his focus. He knew
that he always had their support for anything that he
wanted to try.
Matt's gift was people. He loved being with people,
helping people, and making others feel good. The hope
of a better world free of harassment and
discrimination because a person was different kept him
motivated. All his life he felt the stabs of
discrimination. Because of that he was sensitive to
other people's feelings. He was naive to the extent
that, regardless of the wrongs people did to him, he
still had faith that they would change and become
"nice." Matt trusted people, perhaps too much.
Violence was not a part of his life until his senior
year in high school. He would walk into a fight and
try to break it up. He was the perfect negotiator. He
could get two people talking to each other again as no
one else could.
Matt loved people and he trusted them. He could never
understand how one person could hurt another,
physically or verbally. They would hurt him, and he
would give them another chance. This quality of seeing
only good gave him friends around the world. He didn't
see size, race, intelligence, sex, religion, or the
hundred other things that people use to make choices
about people. All he saw was the person. All he wanted
was to make another person his friend. All he wanted
was to make another person feel good. All he wanted
was to be accepted as an equal.
What did Matt's friends think of him? Fifteen of his
friends from high school in Switzerland, as well as
his high school adviser, joined hundreds of others at
his memorial services. They left college, fought a
blizzard, and came together one more time to say
good-bye to Matt. Men and women coming from different
countries, cultures, and religions thought enough of
my son to drop everything and come to Wyoming—most of
them for the first time. That's why this Wyoming
country boy wanted to major in foreign relations and
languages. He wanted to continue making friends and at
the same time help others. He wanted to make a
difference. Did he? You tell me.
I loved my son and, as can be seen throughout this
statement, was proud of him. He was not my gay son. He
was my son who happened to be gay. He was a
good-looking, intelligent, caring person. There were
the usual arguments, and at times he was a real pain
in the butt. I felt the regrets of a father when he
realizes that his son is not a star athlete. But it
was replaced with a greater pride when I saw him on
the stage. The hours that he spent learning his parts,
working behind the scenes, and helping others made me
realize that he was actually an excellent athlete—in a
more dynamic way—because of the different types of
physical and mental conditioning required by actors.
To this day I have never figured out how he was able
to spend all those hours at the theater, during the
school year, and still have good grades.
Because my job involved lots of travel, I never had
the same give-and-take with Matt that Judy had. Our
relationship at times was strained. But, whenever he
had problems we talked. For example, he was unsure
about revealing to me that he was gay. He was afraid
that I would reject him immediately, so it took him a
while to tell me. By that time, his mother and brother
had already been told. One day he said that he had
something to say. I could see that he was nervous, so
I asked him if everything was all right. Matt took a
deep breath and told me that he was gay. Then he
waited for my reaction. I still remember his surprise
when I said, "Yeah? OK, but what's the point of this
conversation? " Then everything was OK. We went back to
a father and son who loved each other and respected
the beliefs of the other. We were father and son, but
we were also friends.
How do I talk about the loss that I feel every time I
think about Matt? How can I describe the empty pit in
my heart and mind when I think about all the problems
that were put in Matt's way that he overcame? No one
can understand the sense of pride and accomplishment
that I felt every time he reached the mountain top of
another obstacle. No one, including myself, will ever
know the frustration and agony that others put him
through because he was different. How many people
could be given the problems that Matt was presented
with and still succeed as he did? How many would
continue to smile—at least on the outside—while crying
on the inside to keep other people from feeling bad?
I now feel very fortunate that I was able to spend
some private time with Matt last summer during my
vacation from Saudi Arabia. We sat and talked. I told
Matt that he was my hero and that he was the toughest
man that I had ever known. When I said that, I bowed
down to him out of respect for his ability to continue
to smile and keep a positive attitude during all the
trials and tribulations that he had gone through. He
just laughed. I also told him how proud I was because
of what he had accomplished and what he was trying to
accomplish. The last thing I said to Matt was that I
loved him, and he said he loved me. That was the last
private onversation that I ever had with him.
Impact on my life? My life will never be the same. I
miss Matt terribly. I think about him all the time—at
odd moments when some little thing reminds me of him;
when I walk by the refrigerator and see the pictures
of him and his brother that we've always kept on the
door; at special times of the year, like the first day
of classes at UW or opening day of sage chicken
hunting. I keep wondering almost the same thing that I
did when I first saw him in the hospital. What would
we have become? How would he have changed his piece of
the world to make it better?
Impact on my life? I feel a tremendous sense of guilt.
Why wasn't I there when he needed me most? Why didn't
I spend more time with him? Why didn't I try to find
another type of profession so that I could have been
available to spend more time with him as he grew up?
What could I have done to be a better father and
friend? How do I get an answer to those questions now?
The only one who can answer them is Matt. These
questions will be with me for the rest of my life.
What makes it worse for me is knowing that his mother
and brother will have similar unanswered questions.
Impact on my life? In addition to losing my son, I
lost my father on November 4, 1998. The stress of the
entire affair was too much for him. Dad watched Matt
grow up. He taught him how to hunt, fish, camp, ride
horses, and love the state of Wyoming. Matt, Logan,
dad, and I would spend two to three weeks camping in
the mountains at different times of the year—to hunt,
to fish, and to goof off. Matt learned to cook over an
open fire, tell fishing stories about the one that got
away, and to drive a truck from my father.
Three weeks before Matt went to the Fireside Bar for
the last time, my parents saw Matt in Laramie. In
addition, my father tried calling Matt the night that
he was beaten but received no answer. He never got
over the guilt of not trying earlier. The additional
strain of the hospital vigil, being in the hospital
room with Matt when he died, the funeral services with
all the media attention and the protesters, [and]
helping Judy and me clean out Matt's apartment in
Laramie a few days later was too much. Three weeks
after Matt's death, dad died. Dad told me after the
funeral that he never expected to outlive Matt. The
stress and the grief were just too much for him.
Impact on my life? How can my life ever be the same
again?
When Matt was little, I used to take showers with him,
just to teach him not to be scared of the water.
Later, Matt helped me do the same thing with Logan.
Anyway, Matt and I would be in the shower spitting
mouthfuls of water at each other or at his mother, if
he could convince her to come into the bathroom. Then
he would laugh and laugh. We would also sing in the
showers. I taught him the songs "Row, Row, Row Your
Boat"; both "Brother John" and its French version,
"Frère Jacques"; and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."
Matt would sing loud and clear. Now, that voice is
silent, the boat has sunk, Jacques is no longer frère,
and the little star no longer twinkles.
Matt officially died at 12:53 a.m. on Monday, October
12, 1998, in a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. He
actually died on the outskirts of Laramie tied to a
fence that Wednesday before, when you beat him. You,
Mr. McKinney, with your friend Mr. Henderson, killed
my son.
By the end of the beating, his body was just trying to
survive. You left him out there by himself, but he
wasn't alone. There were his lifelong friends with
him—friends that he had grown up with. You're probably
wondering who these friends were. First, he had the
beautiful night sky with the same stars and moon that
we used to look at through a telescope. Then, he had
the daylight and the sun to shine on him one more
time—one more cool, wonderful autumn day in Wyoming.
His last day alive in Wyoming. His last day alive in
the state that he always proudly called home. And
through it all he was breathing in for the last time
the smell of Wyoming sagebrush and the scent of pine
trees from the snowy range. He heard the wind—the
ever-present Wyoming wind—for the last time. He had
one more friend with him. One he grew to know through
his time in Sunday school and as an acolyte at St.
Mark's in Casper as well as through his visits to St.
Matthew's in Laramie. He had God.
I feel better knowing he wasn't alone.
Matt became a symbol—some say a martyr, putting a
boy-next-door face on hate crimes. That's fine with
me. Matt would be thrilled if his death would help
others. On the other hand, your agreement to life
without parole has taken yourself out of the spotlight
and out of the public eye. It means no drawn-out
appeals process, [no] chance of walking away free due
to a technicality, and no chance of lighter sentence
due to a "merciful" jury. Best of all, you won't be a
symbol. No years of publicity, no chance of
communication, no nothing—just a miserable future and
a more miserable end. It works for me.
My son was taught to look at all sides of an issue
before making a decision or taking a stand. He learned
this early when he helped campaign for various
political candidates while in grade school and junior
high. When he did take a stand, it was based on his
best judgment. Such a stand cost him his life when he
quietly let it be known that he was gay. He didn't
advertise it, but he didn't back away from the issue
either. For that I'll always be proud of him. He
showed me that he was a lot more courageous than most
people, including myself. Matt knew that there were
dangers to being gay, but he accepted that and wanted
to just get on with his life and his ambition of
helping others.
Matt's beating, hospitalization, and funeral focused
worldwide attention on hate. Good is coming out of
evil. People have said "Enough is enough." You screwed
up, Mr. McKinney. You made the world realize that a
person's lifestyle is not a reason for discrimination,
intolerance, persecution, and violence. This is not
the 1920s, 30s, and 40s of Nazi Germany. My son died
because of your ignorance and intolerance. I can't
bring him back. But I can do my best to see that this
never, ever happens to another person or another
family again. As I mentioned earlier, my son has
become a symbol—a symbol against hate and people like
you; a symbol for encouraging respect for
individuality; for appreciating that someone is
different; for tolerance. I miss my son, but I'm proud
to be able to say that he is my son.
Mr. McKinney, one final comment before I sit, and this
is the reason that I stand before you now. At no time
since Matt was found at the fence and taken to the
hospital have Judy and I made any statements about our
beliefs concerning the death penalty. We felt that
that would be an undue influence on any prospective
juror. Judy has been quoted by some right-wing groups
as being against the death penalty. It has been stated
that Matt was against the death penalty. Both of these
statements are wrong. We have held family discussions
and talked about the death penalty. Matt believed that
there were incidents and crimes that justified the
death penalty. For example, he and I discussed the
horrible death of James Byrd, Jr. in Jasper, Texas. It
was his
opinion that the death penalty should be sought and
that no expense should be spared to bring those
responsible for this murder to justice. Little did we
know that the same response would come about involving
Matt. I, too, believe in the death penalty. I would
like nothing better than to see you die, Mr. McKinney.
However, this is the time to begin the healing
process. To show mercy to someone who refused to show
any mercy. To use this as the first step in my own
closure about losing Matt. Mr. McKinney, I am not
doing this because of your family. I am definitely not
doing this because of the crass and unwarranted
pressures put on by the religious community. If
anything, that hardens my resolve to see you die. Mr.
McKinney, I'm going to grant you life, as hard as that
is for me to do, because of Matthew. Every time you
celebrate Christmas, a birthday, or the Fourth of
July, remember that Matt isn't. Every time that you
wake up in that prison cell, remember that you had the
opportunity and the ability to stop your actions that
night. Every time that you see your cell mate,
remember that you had a choice, and now you are living
that choice. You robbed me of something very precious,
and I will never forgive you for that. Mr. McKinney, I
give you life in the memory of one who no longer
lives. May you have a long life, and may you thank
Matthew every day for it.
Your honor, members of the jury, Mr. Rerucha, thank
you.
"...men who do not wear fine cloaths can feel deeply."
--William Wordsworth, 18 January 1801
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail. yahoo.com
Ich habe vor zwei Jahren zum ersten Mal von Matt's Geschichte gehört (es gibt auch einen Film dazu).
Danke für die Rede, sie hat mich so sehr berührt und sehr traurig gemacht und ich finde solche Themen sollten auch hier immer mal wieder angesprochen werden, denn das gehört zu den Themen über die hier gesprochen wird.
Die Seite von Matthew ist auch schon mal gepostet worden (wie vieles hier) :
Ich kann manchmal kaum mehr etwas dazu (o.g. Homepage) äußern weil ich einfach zumeist fassungslos vor so viel menschlicher Dummheit, Ignoranz und Brutalität bin.
Vielen Dank Lissa,
diese Geschichte war mir bekannt, sie ist aber schon 1998 passiert. Aber egal, die Rede vom Vater kannte ich noch nicht und es ist wirklich erschütternd, dass heut noch so was passieren kann.
Unrühmlich (wieder mal) die Rolle der (katholischen) Kirche
Ich hab mal gelesen - weiß nicht mehr wo - dass Matthew die Geschichte BBM von Annie seiner Mutter zum lesen gab (sozusagen als Coming Out). Danach wurde er ermordet.
Keine Ahnung ob das stimmt.
Man muss nicht mal so weit schauen, bei uns in Deutschland werden auch Leute wegen Ihrer Rasse oder weil sie Obdachlose sind zusammengeschlagen und umgebracht. Oder Jugendliche in der Schule die einfach nicht die richtigen Klamotten anhaben.
Ich hab drei Kinder und da bekommt man echt Angst.
Original von franke11
Ich hab mal gelesen - weiß nicht mehr wo - dass Matthew die Geschichte BBM von Annie seiner Mutter zum lesen gab (sozusagen als Coming Out). Danach wurde er ermordet.
Hm, könnte zumindest zeitlich passen. Anni soll BBM ja vor dieser schlimmen Geschichte mit Matthew geschrieben haben.
28.02.2007 10:41
Bluelissa unregistriert
Ich habe vorhin mal in diese Seite "God hates fags" reingesehen und mir ware beinahe mein Mittagessen hochgekommen.Das ist ja der blanke Hass, der einem da entgegenspringt! Moderne Kreuzzüge, mehr fällt mir da im Moment echt nicht zu ein.
Bin geschockt.
Die Rde von Matthews Vater hat mich teils zu Tränen gerührt und teils wütend gemacht, insbesondere was die Rolle der katholischen Kirche bei dieser Verhandlung anging, wie auch Siri schon geschrieben hat.Das ist übelste Heuchelei .
Muß jetzt erstmal irgendwas schönes zur Beruhigung lesen, sonst rege ich mich zu sehr auf.
Lissa
Dieser Beitrag wurde 1 mal editiert, zum letzten Mal von Bluelissa: 28.02.2007 13:06.
Ich kanns einfach nicht glauben, warum muss man, heute immer noch, so für sein Liebe kämpfen, sich schämen, verachtet oder gehasst werden? Da ist Unverständnis noch milde. Wie gesagt, kann ich nicht! nachvollziehen...Und das ist ja nicht nur bei Homosexualität so. Die ganze Gesselschaft ist doch nicht nicht so weit. Da kann man ja beinahe froh sein, in Deutschland zu leben. Da mags gehen...
16.03.2007 16:17
Bluelissa unregistriert
Aber jetzt habe ich in meinem englischen BBM Forum gelesen, dass die größte Schwulenkirche der WELT ausgerechnet in Texas ihren Sitz hat.Da soll man doch nicht sagen, dass Gott keinen Humor hat
Lissa
[quote]Original von Bluelissa
Aber jetzt habe ich in meinem englischen BBM Forum gelesen, dass die größte Schwulenkirche der WELT ausgerechnet in Texas ihren Sitz hat.Da soll man doch nicht sagen, dass Gott keinen Humor hat
/quote]
Wow! Das ist jetzt aber wirklich toll!!
Ironie ist ja sooo großartig! xD
Was mich bei dem Thema oft beschäftigt ist die Frage, was genau diese Idioten eigentlich daran stört. (Dies ist jetzt logischerweise nicht meine Sichtweise, denn ich habe ja Freunde die schwul/lesbisch sind), sondern reinversetzt in Menschen die sich drüber aufregen und solchen Hass entwickeln gegen Menschen, die sie nicht kennen und die ihnen persönlich nichts getan haben:
Ich meine wenn ein Mann, den "ich" nicht kenne mit einem anderen Mann zusammen ist, den "ich" auch nicht kenne, und die beiden sind happy und laufen Arm in Arm durch die Gegend oder küssen sich, oder was weiss ich, was die Menschen eben so tun, wenn sie sich mögen, wieso zur Hölle beeinträchtigt mich das in meinem Leben und meiner Persönlichkeit so sehr, dass ich mein Leben damit verbringen muss, dagegen zu kämpfen???? Kapier ich nicht!!!!!
Ist doch schön, wenn Menschen glücklich sind, egal mit wem. Was soll das alles?? Mir wollen sich die Beweggründe solcher Menschen absolut nicht erschliessen.
Und am Ende, das liegt aber vielleicht an meiner Einstellung zur Religion: Woher weiss dieser hirnlose Kretin, was Gott hasst und was nicht????? Und wo ist Menschlichkeit und Nächstenliebe, die Gott doch eigentlich wünscht???? Ich kriege da echte Anfälle vor Wut.
Dieser Beitrag wurde 1 mal editiert, zum letzten Mal von Metallikatz: 23.03.2007 00:36.
Metallikatz du sprichst mir aus der Seele. Ich bemüh mich immer mich in die Situation eines Menschen hineinzuversetzen und seine Gedankengänge nachzuvollziehen und das gelingt mir auch sehr gut. Aber warum Menschen sich an Homosexualität stören bleibt mir echt ein Rätsel. Da kann ich eher einen Mörder besser nachvollziehen. Leben und leben lassen. Ist das denn so schwer? Vielleicht sollte man mal den Spiess umdrehen und so tun als sei Heterosexualität das perverseste was die Menschheit zu bieten hat. Bin mal gespannt wie sich diese Homohasser dann fühlen würden. Tut mir echt leid, aber bei sowas könnt ich wirklich kotzen!!!
__________________
22.03.2007 21:54
Bluelissa unregistriert
Ich bin persänlich der Meinung, dass es niemanden zu interessieren hat, was zwei Leute in ihren Schlafzimmern machen, ein Grund, warum ich der Kirche schon seit Jahren den Rücken zugewandt habe.Außerdem sollte man alles tolerieren, was auf freiwilliger Basis besteht.
Falls irgendwer Interesse an dem Link für die Schwulenkirche hat, poste ich den(muß allerdinds fragen,wie man das macht)
Lissa
Dass es sowas wie eine Schwulenkirche gibt finde ich persönlich ganz gut, wobei ich mich aber frage, wieso Homosexuelle Menschen nun auch noch eine extra eigene Kirche benötigen? Besser wärs, wenn sie wie alle anderen auch in die "normale" gehen könnten, wenn sie das wünschen. Ist ja bald wie Apartheid damals, dies ist eine weisse Bank und das eine schwarze, hier darf ich sitzen und dort du, dies ist eine Heterokirche und das eine Homokirche. Was zum Teufel soll das? Denn das Problem ist ja nicht, dass die Homosexuellen eine eigene Kirche benötigen, sondern das Problem ist, dass sie nicht mit den "anderen" in die "normale" Kirche gehen sollen/wollen/können/dürfen weil die sog. "Christen" sich an irgendwelchen pseudo-christlichen Weisheiten aufgeilen und permanent meinen zu wissen, was genau nun Gott will und was nicht. Ich finde das alles mehr als seltsam und extrem widersprüchlich. Daher kann ich ehrlich gesagt mit Kirche auch nichts anfangen.
Dieser Beitrag wurde 1 mal editiert, zum letzten Mal von Metallikatz: 23.03.2007 00:51.
Wie schon gesagt, ich kann dazu nur sagen, dass Glaube und Kirche zwei völlig verschiedene Dinge sind, in vielen Punkten nicht miteinander vereinbar sind und man deshalb beides auch nicht auf eine Stufe setzen darf. Sämtliche pseudomoralischen Ansichten und Einstellungen der Kirche sind von irgendwelchen erzkonservativen verspießerten und kleinkarierten Arschlöchern getroffen worden, die einfach nur kleingeistig sind und Glaube mit ihren kranken Sichtweisen aus dem Jahr 1100 oder so verwechseln.
Genau. Ich habe tiefen Respekt vor Menschen die einen Glauben haben, an wen auch immer. Aber Kirche und Glaube sind, wie Du schon sagtest, zwei grundverschiedene Dinge. Gerade die katholische Kirche, was da so unter dem Deckmäntelchen des Glaubens alles getrieben wird, das ist einfach verlogen. Da wird einen auf Zölibat gemacht usw. und hintenrum zahl die katholische Kirsche Millionen an Alimenten für die unehelichen Kinder ihrer Priester. Lächerlich. Genauso verlogen und überholt wie die Verhütungsdiskussionen.
*schluck* - das ist teilweise wirklich heftig. Reymon wollte sich sogar umbringen, wenn ich das richtig verstanden habe? Schön, dass sich für ihn alles so zum Guten gewendet hat - vielleicht abgesehen von seinem Vater...
